too drunk to clean my act up
too drunk to clean my act up
in and around his mouth!
I'd quite like to give a big run-down of the year but its just hard, a lots happened I guess.
Its probably been the best year that I can remember for a while.. but maybe thats due to weed hindering my memory...
Uni has been really great. the anonymity and the fact that whatever happened at school doesnt apply here and now... brilliant. my english/form teacher from yr11/12 said that I'd do better at uni than school, which I took as a criticism at the time, but now I see it is actually true, and theres no shame in not being the best then.
I've been going over to Tess' alot, hanging out at newtown, which (maybe this is sad) but made me feel grown up, or more independent or free is perhaps a better description.
Been finding better city places to go, Pongs, Corridor, and Georgia and mines little seedy favourtie, Brighton. Still egging for some Scruffy Murphy times.
Made a good uni friend, Jake 2.
Overall my male encounters have improved. Indy and Jake are good friends relatively. One jew fro down, but hope for catch up in the new year. A second jew fro, well down too it seems, bit of a shame... but Im trying not to hold onto things too much anymore. Try to think less , be less obsessive. Doesnt happen all the time but Im improving and thats all that matters.
Stoned and Drunken relations, the only relations Ive had, forgetting guys names.. but you gotta start somewhere right. In a weird way , it helped with self esteem.
I shant forget Georgias face and silence when she found out, and the aching walk to central haha. Tess' yelling of 'v-plates' in her equadorian internet cafe. and matties 'v-card' swiping allusions.
I had a pub job for 7 months. Learned alot but they werent the greatest people. Got fired at the beginning of Dec, but parting on good terms I spose, they were nice about it, and I was looking for another job. Still hurt but shit happens.
Been working as a telemarketer type at mums work,... lol. Had some interesting conversations, with people crying, yelling, the couple of 'go to hells', always uplifting.
Bartending at Good Vibes in Feb, Gotta try for BDO too.
Also been doing work experience at a doco production company in enmore in my hols. Really nice people and learning enough. Also enjoying the relaxing lunch breaks. Again, this ads to the independence.
Hasnt all been up this year - the $100 bus fine at the Pixies.. pig cop. then the $360 'speeding' fine. I can be bothered talking about it anymore, sucks but move on right. Shall never get over this hatred of cops though..
Being rejected by guys, especially over 10 months, is rough. But things are looking up. I should probably be less picky, but I cant help that now. I suppose I'd rather be alone than with someone and wanting someone else. That was confusingly deep.
Friends have been away - Mattie just got back from London. Cant believe I saw her at the start of the year in London, and at the end in Sydney.
Tess went away in Sept. I think I miss her so much because I spent so much time with her this year. And for the past 4 months, no time. Her South America trip makes me jealous, I would so love to go there. In a few days shes on her way to New York with her fam and friends. Jealous... just.. jealous.
I miss her, while certain things she says etc will infuriate me, she is overall a great friend, and things in general infuriate me anyway.
Her sister and friend have gone on a wild adventure through europe and america. Reading their blog is like almost like reading a Hunter S Thompson novel, precise descriptions of drug escapades, tattoos, bars, and backpacking. Enjoyable but... jeeaaalouss.
Jake 2 went to South East Asia for a few months. Kind of suprisingly I do miss him.
God this time last year I was in London... miss the motherland. Miss the trips to Cockfosters, the vommiting on georgia at 3am-ish. Soon again, we shall be back there, and know how to handle ourselves.. or more appropriately, myself.
Speaking of travel, things are getting sorted for america exchange. Lous going at the end of this year, so she can tell me how it is. Got a great reference from my film tutor, felt great. Just gotta keep up/improve marks. Would be so wonderful.
Oh yes.. save moneys too..
I think me and mums relationship has improved. Which is always good. Even though shes called me a drug addict and lazy and had a few too many drunken times.. I know she means no harm, its always just annoying and horrible at the time.
Um, I dont know.. Ive read more. Read Crash, and Franny and Zooey in London. American Psycho at start of the year. Took me all year to finish Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.. oh well. Started Hells Angels now. Got the Kurt Cobain journal for christmas.. rock n roll.
Thats all I can think of now. So some Resolutions:
1. Quit Smoking - if i end up smoking on some drunken nights, I can live with that, Ive already done damage. But I do want to be healthier, and nows the most perfect time to do it.
2. The usual excercise more, and dont procrastinate with uni work. We'll see, but a little more effort in both parts is necessary.
3. Get some practical film experience - I think this is a good one. Try writing or filming something. No harm in it, just gotta get off my ass.
4. Get a job and work harder at it.
5. SAVE MONEY!
6. Overall be more relaxed towards my social life
7. Put less pressure on myself in general... lol?
8. Play more guitar and drums, and really push myself to improve.
I think they're pretty good. Stuff I should be doing anyway but this subconsciously motivates you I guess. Ive never been into resolutions in fear of not doing them. But fuck it, I should just try.
So heres to the New year I spose, which does have some inviting prospects of seeing people Ive wanted to for a while, seeing friends return and continue our fun, and celebrating with the good old friends.
You'll die, too. And my curse is knowing that I'll be there to see it. It's my torment, you see; For killing a miracle of God. You'll be gone like all the others, and I'll have to stay. Oh, I'll die eventually; of that, I'm sure. I have no illusions of immortality. But I will have wished for death long before Death finds me. In truth, I wish for it already.
We each owe a death — there are no exceptions. But, oh God, sometimes the Green Mile seems so long.
crying over a boy. this is too familiar for my liking
lately, i really, i just dont see the point in waking up anymore..
i gots ma peeeeee'ss! funzo!
If we are all gunna die anyway, shouldn't we be enjoying ourselves now? You know, I'd like to quit thinking of the present, like right now, as some minor insignificant preamble to something else.
i dont wanna take this too seriously, but im not gunna lie, im fucking cut
SHE WANTS MY DICK IN AND AROUND HER MOUTH!
....or the other way round.. either way, either way is fine.
Im giddy with delight. Can't remember being like this before, its amazing
OOOOHHH, LAURA GOT A JOOBBBBB!
i dunno if its the bacon and cheese balls or me, but cigarettes taste baadddddd
just passed out 3 times cuz of weed. i hit my head, it hurts hahaha.
i was twitching too, haha.
ordered pizza, but for my dignity i wanted home deliever but that shits $8 extra - dignity aint worth that much.
im hungry and sore lol
Waiting in the cold for netball, got here an hour early. Was at an american exchange thing at uni, connecticut and michigan sound pretty cool.
Threw up from heat and not eating today, foolish laura.
Anyway, now havin a smoko while waiting for netball, feel weird smoking whilw people play sport arounbd me but oh well.
Enjoying uni, wanted to mention funny things from uni on tues:
Film -tutor 'in alien 4 they clone her, now that sounds tacky but its really cool'
Media - we came in early and were sitting in the dark, the tutor comes in, looks around and chuckles 'no one thought to turn on the lights..?'
Dunno, I thought it was funny.
Fucken netball. I'd like to play shooter but we have good ones, and even though its social netball, everyones really competitive. Lame.
Oh well, gets me doin stuff spose. Dunno how many friends I'll make, maybe won't do it again, but alright for now.
Ok, my ass and back hurt from sitting on the dirt. Laters
Good film thing, but mainly..... 20 - 40secs - i like..jizzed.. seriously..
So let me get this straight - Larry King is getting his 8th divorce, Elizabeth Taylor is possibly getting married for a 9th time, Britney Spears had a 55 hour marriage. Jesse James and Tiger Woods are screwing EVERYTHING, yet the idea of same-sex marriage is going to destroy the institution of marriage?? Really? REALLY?? Repost to your page if you agree.